MetroLand is an endless runner who sees you sticking it to a man. You gallop through a futuristic city with cops on your tail after an act of vandalism. But for a game that tries to tell a story of youthful rebellion, a child does it ever play it safe.
If you’ve played every automatic over the shoulder in the last decade, then you’re going to know exactly what to expect here. Slide to jump, slide and dodge over obstacles. Collect coins, keep going until you smash something. Rinse and return.
Has the usual power to collect. Magnets drag coins to you, score accelerators increase your score. There are UAVs that pick you up and fly you over the plateau and shields that also protect you for a short time.
Everything in bright and smooth colors, and the run itself is perfectly complex. The game gets this dopamine dullness of compulsion of one more movement. But beneath that veneer and the psychological snooping, you’re staring at something you’ve looked at so many times before.
Yes there are twists here and there. You have different characters, tasks to complete, a hiding place to assemble and upgrades to unlock. But everything feels rough, according to the numbers, a runner designed by a committee to do all the things a runner must.
MetroLand is not a bad game, it’s just a game that plays it the safest it can. There is no rebellious excitement here, no burst of adrenaline or a sudden desire to throw off the cables of oppression and do something else. You run, you fail, you try again. Until not.
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